"Don't marry a nagger." This is a quote that I saw on a facebook status this week. To be fair, as I understand it (from scrolling through numerous comments), the context of this statement was a married preacher offering advice to young men entering the ministry, advising them to choose a mate who doesn't complain about the time, energy, etc. that her husband spends in ministry related activities. This status was commented on by several individuals, who each brought up some different and valid points. I wasn't going to blog about this till I read these verses in my Quiet Time Scripture:
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." 1 Timothy 2:11-15
And so began this study – Subjection, What does the Bible really say?
First of all, when Paul uses this word, "subjection" in his letter to Timothy, unlike my facebook friend (sorry, Joe), he gives the context. Context is VERY important. Imagine being shown a photograph of someone, which showed only the person's elbow. It would be rather difficult to recognize someone from that! The good news is that God's Word doesn't have any "elbow pictures" – He gives us the background, the context we need to understand His direction. The context is Genesis 3, the fall of man. The Bible tells that God never changes, so we can assume the role He created for Eve is valid today. To truly understand this, we must revisit her story. Also, bear in mind that Paul gave two reasons that women are to be submissive – 1) We were not formed first, and 2) It was Eve was deceived in that whole forbidden fruit affair.
"For Adam was first formed, then Eve."
God had a purpose in creating Adam first – he wasn't the helpmeet. Eve was created second, because she was the helper, the rescuer of the human race – without her, there would not have procreation. There are no children without mothers. God created her to be a mother for the whole world and to be a help to her husband. No other being on the planet before Eve was comparable to Adam. If you wonder what the Bible thinks about equality among the sexes – here it is. The "meet" in help meet means that Eve was the same or like Adam. They were equals. Sure, they were compliments, and they had different roles, but they WERE equals.
"And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."
Eve listened to the serpent. Adam listened to his wife. Their punishments reflected their sins. Adam, who had been by God the authority over his family, had failed. He listened to his wife instead of obeying God's Word. This problem is still prevalent today. Ladies, rest assured that though your man may not always listen, and he's probably not picking up on the signals you're sending him – he is more influenced by you, then you will ever know. Bearing that in mind - your place is not to direct his actions or dominate his decisions. Your place is to help him. He needs to obey God's Word first and foremost! Be aware, girls, that like Adam, it's easy for any husband who loves his wife, to try and please her at the expense of obeying God.
Don't listen to the snake! Anytime there is ANYTHING that creeps into your life that contradicts the Word of God – get away from it!!! Don't listen to it, it's trying to trick you, just as it did Eve. And once Satan gets a foot hold in the wife's life – it's a LOT easier to make her husband fall. The first woman ever created, took authority over her husband. She used her influence on him. I doubt she ordered him around, or yelled, or even nagged. I bet she wheedled him into it. She convinced him. You see, Satan knew that if he approached Adam, the first man would not have trusted him. But he would trust his wife. Being submissive doesn't mean folding your hands in your lap, eyes downcast, mouth closed, opinions ignored – it means you help. You help your man do what the Bible says, and NEVER use your influence in his life to lead him away from the Bible. You don't try to dominate his actions by convincing him, by sweet talking him, by any means. You do what needs to be done to help him obey God's Word.
"Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."
The punishment was subjection, but the salvation… was in childbearing. Why is that our salvation? Well look at the context.
"And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel." Genesis 3:15
It was Mary, not Joseph, who was used of God to bring the Messiah into the world. It was through a woman – that Jesus came.
So we see, for the world's first couple, when Eve stepped out of her role as helper (though an equal) to her husband, and used her influence to dominate his actions, sin destroyed the world. But when she fulfilled her role (to be a mother) the first Messianic promise began.
My conclusion is this: the role God has given wives is to help their husbands. We are such different creatures from men, that there are a great many things that only a wife can do to help her husband serve God. Women are not to dominate over men, not by their words, or influence, or even by using their "wiles", to get their way. We are equals, and our job is to help them as they serve God. This means that Yes, God likes opinionated women! He created them that way (much like Ruth and Deborah)! He likes women who are bold and courageous (like Jael or the midwives in Egypt). He made us to be different from men, something that we should celebrate!
And though I know it was taken out of context, I have to address this statement, "Don't marry a nagger."
Wouldn't it be better to say, Ladies – don't marry a lazy man. (Sorry, it had to be said.)
That's my take on this subject – what's yours?
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